Tweet Tweet, B**ches!

hat's Twitter? Why tweet? That's basically what I say when people ask me if I am on it. This is not a list item but it is 2013 so, it should be.   My friends David and Brian, have made fun of me for my absolute REFUSAL to join twitter. I just never saw the point, I did not get it or saw the purpose in it and remained firm in my stance on not joining...UNTIL TONIGHT!

Love and Other Drugs

This post is random and doesn't actually have to do with anything on my list but I kinda wanted to share.

Every once in awhile I talk about relationships of all kind and how they have affected me. My friend recently had this suckie situation end and she shared with me some serious insight on relationships. She referred to relationships as drugs..WOAH! So I am going to share some of her experience, hope she doesn't mind. Then add my own pseudo-philological thoughts.

she recently made a slip up and drunk dialed this guy and was kind of freaked out about it. She said:

"the drunk dial didn't set me back,  hey it happens but I think what upset me the most was that I even made it in the first place. It came out of no where, I  have been thinking about him less and less and I've been intoxicated several times prior to this and have no even come close to calling or texting.To me, the drunk dial came out of nowhere. I think I was freaked out that this happened now and I think it is because I don't trust myself not to do it again"   

She then went on to say that:

"his presence in my life became a drug that I absolutely needed. Our relationship was rough and ugly at times but it made me feel good, even if it was a false sense of euphoria. I am fine on my own but I liked it when he was around"

What does that say about relationships....in any form? Do they become drugs? Can we be addicted? Even when you know the side effects and outcomes are bad you still want it. Even when you know that you are way  better off you yearn for it. I am not sure why it happens or how it happens but it sucks.

Anyway, I think it is interesting to think of relationships of any kind as a drug but it makes serious sense. Like a drug, a relationship can make you feel good and when that presence is gone you withdraw from it; sometimes it hurts and is painful. Over the last few years I have gained and lost some relationships in my life and I find that regardless of how those relationships ended there is still a small inkling for that previous familiarity and I think about how quickly one can fall right back into it. I guess like most things in life, getting over a relationship takes time and care but most importantly I think it takes a conscious effort to recognize where you are in the process.

Dancing On My Own

Last night I died and went to hip hop heaven, also known as the Watch the Throne concert. There are no words to describe the melodic amazingness that was that concert… it was EPIC! Everyone asked me who I was going with and I happily said just me…it was AWESOME!  I think I am going to go to more concerts by myself; being alone allowed me to get lost in the music. I do not know if it was the flashing lights and thumping melodies playing in time with my internal beat or the marijuana vapors that I swear they were blasting through the vents at the Verizon Center, but as I stood there nodding my head, I was taken to a place I haven’t been in a while. For a solid two hours I was able to escape and I was ecstatic about it.

I have found recently that when I am struggling to express how I am feeling, along comes a song that lays my emotions out like a road map.  It is funny how a song is there for you when you least it expect it. There seems to be a song for every emotion I’ve gone through in the last few months. One song in particular is Runaway by Mr. West. I love Kanye; I think he is a musical genius. I love the risks that he takes with his music and I feel as though his music is really a window to his soul. Anyway, Runaway is song to a girl or girls that he has wronged {he’s kind of a douche}. It is song that I always thought described he who shall not be named and funny enough one day as we were heading somewhere together he who shall not be named said the same thing, that Runaway sounded a lot like him {NEWSFLASH, ladies if a dude you like EVER says that Runway sounds like him, you need to kick rocks FAST!}. Well Yeezy performed it last night and I felt that he was singing straight to me; matter of fact he told the ladies in the audience to leave that dude alone! I felt as though Kanye punched me square in the face with his leather glove, mic still in hand and was like “CHARISSE, WAKE THE F**K UP…let him go”. In that moment I realized that it is time, I need to let it go. This person cannot consume me; he is happy and not thinking about me. I have to find a way to make peace with him and I think that I have.

I don’t want this blog to become my love chronicles so with respect to myself and this space and my vow to let go, I am deciding that this post will be the last one about he who shall not be named for the time being. I have other extremely embarrassing and personal demons to tackle and then share with the blogosphere.

I love that music has the ability to help you go through things and this case is no different. Last night wasn’t just a night filled with flashing lights, high heels, and blazing beats; it was a next level experience. Kanye and Jay will roll into their next city and never know what they did for me but I am beyond thankful for them and the experience! No Encore, I’m out!