Dancing On My Own

Last night I died and went to hip hop heaven, also known as the Watch the Throne concert. There are no words to describe the melodic amazingness that was that concert… it was EPIC! Everyone asked me who I was going with and I happily said just me…it was AWESOME!  I think I am going to go to more concerts by myself; being alone allowed me to get lost in the music. I do not know if it was the flashing lights and thumping melodies playing in time with my internal beat or the marijuana vapors that I swear they were blasting through the vents at the Verizon Center, but as I stood there nodding my head, I was taken to a place I haven’t been in a while. For a solid two hours I was able to escape and I was ecstatic about it.

I have found recently that when I am struggling to express how I am feeling, along comes a song that lays my emotions out like a road map.  It is funny how a song is there for you when you least it expect it. There seems to be a song for every emotion I’ve gone through in the last few months. One song in particular is Runaway by Mr. West. I love Kanye; I think he is a musical genius. I love the risks that he takes with his music and I feel as though his music is really a window to his soul. Anyway, Runaway is song to a girl or girls that he has wronged {he’s kind of a douche}. It is song that I always thought described he who shall not be named and funny enough one day as we were heading somewhere together he who shall not be named said the same thing, that Runaway sounded a lot like him {NEWSFLASH, ladies if a dude you like EVER says that Runway sounds like him, you need to kick rocks FAST!}. Well Yeezy performed it last night and I felt that he was singing straight to me; matter of fact he told the ladies in the audience to leave that dude alone! I felt as though Kanye punched me square in the face with his leather glove, mic still in hand and was like “CHARISSE, WAKE THE F**K UP…let him go”. In that moment I realized that it is time, I need to let it go. This person cannot consume me; he is happy and not thinking about me. I have to find a way to make peace with him and I think that I have.

I don’t want this blog to become my love chronicles so with respect to myself and this space and my vow to let go, I am deciding that this post will be the last one about he who shall not be named for the time being. I have other extremely embarrassing and personal demons to tackle and then share with the blogosphere.

I love that music has the ability to help you go through things and this case is no different. Last night wasn’t just a night filled with flashing lights, high heels, and blazing beats; it was a next level experience. Kanye and Jay will roll into their next city and never know what they did for me but I am beyond thankful for them and the experience! No Encore, I’m out!